Like the Number
by rhymeswithblue
Summary: "But as the girl with the tattoo pockets her winnings and playfully sticks her tongue out at her friends, he could not, for the life of him, figure out why someone would ever bet on a Stiff." AU, Four is the initiate, Tris is the trainer.


yep, i got bit by the divergent bug too #suchabasicbitch. anyway, i hope you like this! i think i had too much fun writing _fighters and survivors_ that i wanted to apply a similar AU treatment to divergent as well.

so here is the good old role reversal fic. basically, tris/christina/uriah/etc. are all 18 years old and four/zeke/shauna/eric/etc. are all 16 year old initiates. this is how the relationship dynamic would have played out if the age difference swung the other way. intrigued yet? read on :)

* * *

like the number  
_(jumping, falling, crashing)_

"Tobias Eaton."

It's only then, when his name is called and he finds himself in front of the five bowls, that he realizes he's never made a decision. He used to daydream all the time, pretending he lived in the other factions. Daydreaming is frowned upon in Abnegation, but he allows himself this one indulgence. Over the years, he's created four different aliases for himself. Four imaginary lives to hide in when life at home became unbearable. But he never once considered which one he preferred most. And, well, his aptitude test results sure didn't offer any guidance.

In front of him, his father who was administering the ceremony this year stands with a pleading look on his face. His father's words from last night still resonate in his mind.

_Please, son. You have to stay in Abnegation with me. You're the only family I have. Please._ He had been very confused when his father suddenly started acting nice to him about a month ago. No criticism, no reprimanding, and no belts. He was about ready to start believing in God until last night, when their conversation finally revealed his father's true intentions. This was no miraculous change-of-heart. This was a pathetic attempt to convince him not to leave on the Choosing Ceremony. But one month of kindness was nowhere near enough to compensate for sixteen years of hell. If his father thought he would change his mind on a decision he's made ever since he was old enough to understand that people can choose their own factions—well, his father was gravely mistaken.

His father slowly hands him the knife. His father's hands were shaking. His weren't.

To his right, he could see Jeanine White sitting at the edge of her seat. Her eyes are wide and bright, following his every move like a predator. The Erudite have been spreading rumors and filing reports on the mistreatment of children in Abnegation ever since the Prior children both transferred out of the faction two years back. He doesn't know if the charges are true or not; he'd like to think that no one else has to endure the torture he's suffered through. What he does know is if Jeanine White ever got word of what went on behind closed doors at the Eaton home, she just might be able to bring down the entire Abnegation faction.

If anything, that would be the only reason he'd ever stay in Abnegation. Just so he doesn't feed the flame that could grow into a war. That is the selfless thing to do. Sacrifice his own pain for the sake of keeping peace and order. Never think of himself, just the greater good.

But there are scars across his back and bruises that still won't fade and he refuses to be docile a second longer. He cuts into his palm in a swift slice.

Mentally removing the Abnegation bowl of stones, he looks at the other four. Four factions. Four escape routes. Four paths to a happier life. Four daydreams that can come true. A life without aggression? A life without secrets? Or…he moves his bleeding hand over the bowl of water and watches his father's expression turn to horror. A life of revenge?

Then his eyes are drawn to the last bowl, the one of glowing coal and he takes a half-step toward it involuntarily, as if beckoned by a siren call. Just as a droplet of blood had formed and threatened to fall into the Erudite water, he jerks his arm to the left. His blood sizzles against the embers instead.

"…Dauntless."

His father's voice is almost inaudible. There are gasps around the room but the sound is drowned out by the cheers from the Dauntless.

He turns and walks towards his new faction, his new home, without looking back.

A life without fear.

/

He almost doesn't make it off the train.

The gap between the tracks and the rooftop was five feet across and seven stories down. Seeing the pavement below makes his stomach clench.

"What's wrong, Stiff? Fear of heights?"

He turns around to see an Erudite boy smirking at him. Behind him, a few other chuckles at the jeer.

He simply ignores the remark and backs up to get a running start. It's going to take a lot more than childish mockery to get to him. He's developed tougher skin over the years. He had to.

As for the fear of heights, that is a bit harder to overcome. He is the last one left on the train and the end of the rooftop is soon approaching, so he runs, leaps, and lands on his feet with nothing but a small stumble forwards. The thrill is like nothing he'd ever experienced before. The Erudite boy is lying on his back on the ground, having obviously fallen over from the jump. The boy gazes up at him in speechless awe.

He almost doesn't make it off the train.

But he does.

And when it was time to jump off the ledge, he is the first to go.

/

When he rolls to the edge of the net, a gloved hand reaches out to him. He grabs it and gets roughly yanked right off the net and onto the ground. The Dauntless girl standing in front of him is a good head shorter than him and has thin, muscular arms and a tattoo of three birds peeking out from her tank top. He gives the girl's unassuming stature a cautious glance, then stretches out his shoulder, sore from when she practically pulled it out of its socket.

"You have got to be kidding me."

His eyes adjust to the darkness and he sees a few more Dauntless members standing beside the net. The girl who spoke has short cropped hair and is openly gaping at him, then back at the girl who pulled him down, then back at him.

"A Stiff jumped first. Never thought I'd see that again."

Behind the two girls, three others join in on noting their surprise. But the girl with the tattoo just stands with an amused grin on her face. She sticks out her hand, palm up, to her friends.

"Pay up."

The girl with the short hair begrudgingly digs into her pocket and slaps a coin onto her hand. The two other men and the other woman do the same.

A bet, he realizes. They didn't make bets in Abnegation, since gambling led to greed and glutton. But as the girl with the tattoo pockets her winnings and playfully sticks her tongue out at her friends, he could not, for the life of him, figure out why someone would ever bet on a Stiff.

She turns back to him and places her hand gently on his right arm. Her glove is fingerless so the tips of her fingers are cool against his skin. He's so tall that she has to crane her neck to speak to him.

"What's your name?"

"To—"

She arches an eyebrow at his hesitancy, but then she smiles, something like understanding in her eyes.

"You can choose a new name if you want. But make it a good one. You can't change it again."

He thinks about his four daydreams and he thinks about his indecision earlier that day between the four factions. In his mind, he sees Amity Tobias, Candor Tobias, Dauntless Tobias, and Erudite Tobias all materialize. Then, the other three versions of himself walk together and merge with Dauntless Tobias.

"My name is Four."

"Like the number?"

"Yes."

She shrugs, then turns toward the crowd of Dauntless. She announces his name in a voice much louder than anticipated.

"First jumper—Four!"

/

After every initiate had jumped down (the Erudite boy that teased him earlier came falling down with limbs flailing and screaming like a baby, much to Four's amusement), the girl with the tattoo and the girl with the short hair who had lost the bet earlier stand in front of them. They divide the initiates into Dauntless-born and transfers. The Dauntless-born follow the short-haired girl, who introduces herself as Christina, down one of the stone corridors while the few transfers remain with the girl with the tattoo.

"My name is Tris. I usually work at the tattoo parlor…"

His eyes automatically flicker down to her tattoo again. Three birds in flight, trailing closer and closer to her heart. He wonders what it symbolizes.

"…but I will be your trainer for the next few weeks."

To his right, that stupid Erudite boy snickers. He didn't even try to cover it up. Tris marches right up to him. She eliminates the height difference by grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling down hard until they were eye to eye. The smile disappears from his face.

"What's your name?"

"Eric."

"Okay, Eric. The first lesson you're going to learn here in Dauntless is to never question authority, much less belittle them."

And then, before Eric can react, she grabs his arm and twists in a fluid motion, flipping his whole body in air before he lands painfully on his back. All the other initiates take a small step back. Tris brushes some dirt from her leather pants, then leads the pack down the opposite corridor to give them a tour of the Dauntless compound.

No one stopped to help Eric and Four almost left him too, but some Abnegation impulse still remains and makes him turn back. He offers Eric a hand and pulls his back to his feet.

"By the way, she's stronger than she looks. Almost dislocated my shoulder earlier."

"Could've warned me sooner, Stiff."

Four only gives him a sarcastic smile.

/

During dinner that first night, he becomes painfully aware of the fact that he has no idea how to make friends.

Even back home, he had no friends. He often skipped school and his father never allowed him to go to any parties and dinners. He was cut off from even Abnegation society, which is about as low as you can get. Thus, when all the other initiates somehow managed to befriend each other in the few hours that they've been here and all formed groups to sit down at the tables, talking animatedly with each other, he has nowhere to sit. The only other initiate he's even talked to is Eric, but he'd much rather sit just about anywhere else. So, he wanders the aisle between tables. It's terrifyingly lonely. And awkward. And embarrassing.

"Stop looking like a lost puppy and sit."

His saving grace comes in the form of Tris forcibly pulling him down into the seat next to her. She really is a whole new type of aggression, isn't she?

"Well, look who it is, the first jumper Stiff!"

"Taking on a favorite so soon, Tris? You know you're not supposed to."

Two other Dauntless are sitting with Tris. He recognizes Christina and one of Tris's other friends from earlier who Four soon learns to be named Will. The two are quick to poke fun of Tris. She rolls her eyes.

"Oh shut it. And go easy on him, will you? I mean, look, he's so clueless he doesn't even know how to eat a hamburger."

He immediately stops what he's doing with the circular meat and the buns because he's evidently doing it wrong.

"In my defense, we don't eat hamburgers in Abnegation."

Christina and Will crack up at his words. Tris chuckles too, but helps teach him how to make a hamburger nonetheless.

After dinner, he is shocked when he returns to the dormitory and two girls from Candor approach him with curious grins.

"You were sitting with Tris at dinner today, weren't you? What did you talk about?"

"Uh, not really anything. Mostly they just made fun of me."

That caused the girls to laugh and they sat down on the edge of one of beds, motioning for him to sit across from them.

"You know, Tris and Christina are both only two years older than us."

"Yeah, and I heard that during their initiation, Tris ranked first. First. If someone that small and skinny can get first, maybe there's still hope for us, Lauren!"

He isn't used to gossiping about someone else. But he's not in Abnegation anymore—how many reminders does he need before that truth finally sinks in?—and curiosity gets the best of him.

"If Tris was ranked first, she could have chosen any job. Why did she choose to be a tattoo artist?"

Lauren and her friend look at each other and shrug.

"No one knows. Apparently she was offered a leadership position but she turned it down."

Their conversation continues well into the night. The subject eventually strays away from their mysterious instructor to the other initiates and then themselves. He learns that Lauren and Shauna, the other Candor girl's name, had been friends since they were ten and both kept getting in trouble in school and within the faction, so they made a pact to leave Candor together. He tells them that life wasn't the same after his mother and sister died, so he wanted to leave his old life behind. It's as close to the truth as it's ever going to get.

Perhaps Tris really was his saving grace, in that she gave him something to talk about with the other initiates and finally make friends.

Tris. He goes to sleep that night with her on his mind. Who is Tris? Who is this strange Dauntless soldier who gave up a leadership position to work in the tattoo shop, who's willing to bet on a Stiff, and who looks at him with the kindest eyes he's ever seen?

/

His first shot completely misses the target and he doesn't even know where the bullet went.

His second shot just barely grazes the bottom corner.

His third shot hits the outer circle.

His fourth shot hits right at the center of the target.

Every shot after that is spot-on in the center of the target. Only when he's out of bullets does he realize everyone else has stopped firing. In fact, they've all stopped to stare at him. Even Tris stands there with a suspicious look on her face. He smiles nervously.

"What? This is fun."

The others return to shooting. Eric glares at him, Lauren and Shauna give him two thumbs up, but Tris still has the suspicious look on her face. Her expression makes him uneasy. Is he not supposed to so good at this? Does it have to do with him being Divergent? He thinks back to the aptitude test and remembers the horrified expression on Tori's face. You can't let anyone find out. Anyone.

In a lame attempt to cover up his skill, he purposely misses the target once every few shots. One of them even goes so far to hit Lauren's target instead. They share a laugh at this and he prepares to shoot again when he feels Tris's presence behind him. She leans down and whispers in his ear:

"You're not fooling me."

/

When they learn physical combat, he doesn't have to work as hard to cover up his skill, mainly because his total body strength is probably less than that of Tris's pinky. He's quick to learn all the different attacks and defenses, and he can memorize every other initiate's strengths and weaknesses, but he lacks the muscle to exert any real force when he fights. Hell, he was practicing with Lauren and even one of her light punches sent him staggering back a step. A life holed up in his Abnegation house has not offered him any opportunity to gain muscle mass. He may be one of the tallest initiates, but he's also one of the skinniest.

They're going to be fighting each other, one-on-one, and the results will factor into their final ranking. He watches Eric punch another boy so hard, he falls to the ground and his nose starts to bleed and Tris has to help him up, telling Eric to save it for tomorrow.

Tomorrow. The fights start tomorrow.

Maybe his luck ran out at the shooting range.

/

That night, he accompanies Lauren and Shauna to the stores around the pit. This is the first time he's ever had leisure time and he has no idea what to do, so he follows Lauren and Shauna. And since his only two friends are girls, naturally, he ends up sitting at one of the clothing stores watching his friends try on various shirts and dresses.

"We should give Four a makeover."

He perks up at the mention of his name.

"What now?"

And before he knows it, he's being shoved into the changing room with countless articles of clothing being thrown at him over the door. He tries on slim-fitting pair of black jeans and a black shirt that hugs way too tightly around his chest. When Lauren and Shauna see, they excitedly clap their hands but he can't help want to cover himself up. Lauren slaps his arms away.

"Stop that. You look good. So much better than those huge baggy clothes you were wearing."

He looks at himself in the full-length mirror. He barely recognizes himself, and not just because he rarely saw his reflection in Abnegation. This boy in all black staring back at him look confident, much more confident than he actually feels. Still, his lanky arms are too thin and he lacks the defined chest and abs that the male mannequins and every male Dauntless member has. With his friends' urging, he purchases the clothes, even if it did advertise the fact that he was a wimp. Something to motivate him to work harder then.

Next, Lauren and Shauna decide they want to get tattoos, so he follows them inside the tattoo parlor even though he's still too much of a Stiff to get one himself. As they peruse the patterns, he wanders toward the back of the shop and notices Tori. When he goes over to her, her face pales as if she's seen a ghost.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm Dauntless now."

"You? You're the first jumper Stiff?"

She runs a hand through her hair in frustration. He did not realize this was that big of a deal and suddenly his heart rate quickens.

"You made a bad choice coming to Dauntless. You would've been safer in Amity or staying in Abnegation."

"But I don't understand. What am I?"

Tori shushes him and moves to reorganize some tools. He moves to casually stand beside her and strains to hear her soft words.

"Just stay out of trouble, you hear? And don't draw any more attention to yourself. Oh, and Tris! She's your trainer, right?"

He nods. He recalls that Tris usually works here, so she's probably friends with Tori, but what does that have anything to do with him being a Divergent? Before he can ask, Tori is already ushering him away, back to his friends at the other side of the store.

"Listen to Tris, do exactly as she says, and you might make it out of this alive."

/

In his first fight, Eric beats the shit out of him.

/

He wakes up in the hospital wing. That's how atrociously bad he was at hand-to-hand combat.

In his defense, the transfer girl from Amity, Mia, also got sent to the hospital wing after losing her fight. In her defense, after Shauna and Lauren came to visit him, Mia got to leave with them for dinner while he remained in the hospital well into the night.

This isn't going to work out. He's due to fight again tomorrow or the day after and this isn't going to work out.

It's already lights out in the dorms when he hobbles out of the hospital wing and into the training room. He situates himself in front of one of the punching bags and starts hitting it as hard as he can—which, again, isn't really saying much. The one upside of getting matched up with Eric today is that at least Four's hands and arms don't hurt because he didn't get the chance to get any good hits in.

He doesn't hear Tris enter the room until she's right behind him and he accidentally elbows her in the face in the backswing of his punch.

"Oh, sorry!"

She just shakes her head and shuts her eyes. She looks more annoyed than anything else.

"You know what your problem is, Four? You keep thinking about how you're not as strong as the others. It's like you're asking them to punch you in the face. Just be confident, okay? And maybe use your elbows more."

"I'm surprised you even noticed my performance since you left halfway through."

His comment comes out sharper than he intended and she looks taken aback by his words. He always did have a quick mouth. It's this inner Candor that got him sent to the small closet as a child.

She turns and walks to the door again.

"I couldn't watch you get hurt like that."

He doesn't know if he was meant to hear her comment, but he does.

/

The next day, thankfully, he doesn't have to fight. He trains a bit more and starts incorporating a routine of push-ups and sit-ups to build muscle. Then he has to watch Shauna get brutally defeated in her fight which hurts almost as much as taking the punches himself.

The whole day, he feels Tris's eyes staring at him but whenever he turns around, she's never looking at him, as if pointedly making a show of ignoring him. He never knows when it comes to her. He thinks she's a bit mad. He thinks he's a bit mad himself.

And just when he's about to drift into much-needed sleep that night, the lights are back on and who but Peter walks into the room, demanding all the initiates to be on the train in fifteen minutes.

Peter is a cruel person and no one seems to like him very much. He's only two years older than them, just like Tris, but he's got a position in Dauntless leadership. The rumor is he only got it after Tris turned it down. Needless to say, Tris has a distaste for Peter just as much as all the initiates do, which is comforting, at the very least.

On the train, Peter explains the tradition of the paintball capture-the-flag game. Besides the initiates and the two trainers, a few Dauntless members are also there to partake in the fun tradition. He sees Christina and Will near the back and they smile at him.

"Alright, Tris and I will be team captains."

Tris's face could not be more passive. It's as if she's grown used to Peter trying to get a rise of her. Peter scans the crowd for his first choice.

"Eric."

Figures Peter would choose Eric, Four thinks to himself. He despises both of them.

"I'll take the Stiff."

Everyone looks at Tris like she's crazy, himself included. Did she really just pick the skinny Stiff who still has a faint black eye as her first choice?

They continue calling names until the two teams are evenly split. Shauna and Mia are on Tris's team with him along with Will and one of Tris's other friends Marlene. Peter got Christina, Lauren, and Uriah, the fifth member of Tris's gang. As they're reaching the destination, Christina comes up to Tris with a smirk on her face.

"Seriously, did you intentionally pick the worse team to challenge yourself or because you felt bad for them?"

"I am perfectly confident that my team will win, thank you very much. In fact, you want to bet on it?"

By this point, Will, Uriah, and Marlene have walked over as well. After hearing Tris's words, Will throws his hands up in defeat while Uriah and Marlene adamantly shake their heads. Christina however holds Tris's steady gaze.

"You know what…alright. You're going to rob me of everything I have, Stiff, but alright. It's a bet."

(It's funny, Christina doesn't take her eyes off Tris when she calls him a Stiff.)

/

There's a heated debate over which strategy the team should take. Throwing together twenty headstrong Dauntless sure doesn't lead to any solid teamwork by any means. He tries give his input, but he keeps getting interrupted every time he opens his mouth. Finally, Tris silences the team with a loud _hey!_ and turns directly to him.

"Four, what do you think?"

"Well, we can't decide on a strategy without first knowing where the other team's flag is."

Zeke, Uriah's little brother and one of the Dauntless-born initiates, rolls his eyes at Four's remark.

"And how do you suggest we look for it, _cuatro_?"

A few people snicker but Four only smiles and looks up. He stands slightly apart facing the group, so he is the only one with the Ferris wheel in direct sight.

"We don't have to look for it because I already found it."

Slowly, they all turn around and peer up at the giant wheel. There, at the very top, Peter's team's flag glows, draped halfway through a broken window of a car.

Will lets out a low whistle.

"Okay, that's obviously a trap. They're waiting for us to go up to the Ferris wheel and then shoot us. So I say we split into two groups, with the first group distracting them while the second sneaks up the wheel."

It's a good plan, but almost too easy. Four catches Tris's eye across the group and she seems to be thinking the same thing. She nods for him to speak up again.

"But don't you think they'd expect us to do that?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. So let's stay one step ahead of the other team. Let's split into three groups."

Everyone murmurs but the general consensus is that it's a good idea. Will gives him a hard pat on the shoulder, saying something about how he's almost as smart as an Erudite. And Tris smiles brightly, like she's finally proud of him.

Somehow, he ends up being delegated to the third group along with Tris, Shauna, and Zeke. This may or may not have been well-thought out because the third group is the group that's going to eventually scale the wheel to retrieve the flag and shit, that wheel is so tall.

He inhales. Dauntless. He exhales. Fearless. He can do this.

They approach the other side of the park as a team but then the first group splits off, running and screaming into the trees with as much insanity as a suicide mission. Next, when they are close to the base of the Ferris wheel, the second group splits off and sprints forward. Sure enough, a second assembly of defenders await them, jumping out of the bushes to ambush with paintballs. The third group now inches along in the shadows until they reach the Ferris wheel. Behind him, he hears the sound of guns firing in a paintball carnage. There's loud swearing and even louder laughter.

When the four of them start climbing the ladder together, Shauna gets hit by a paintball to the shoulder. Uriah is the lone survivor of the second shootout and he charges at them. Together, Four, Tris, and Zeke all aim and shoot. With a 3-to-1 disadvantage, Uriah is quickly down with three colorful splotches across his chest, but he does manage to shoot Zeke too. The two brothers both dramatically fall to the ground and Shauna laughs.

With that, it's just Four and Tris. They ascend the ladder as quickly as possible.

"You better not let me down now, Stiff. There's a pretty dress I want to buy after I win the bet."

"Is this a bad time to mention I'm scared of heights?"

She just throws her head back and laughs, like she doesn't understand he's not kidding.

He struggles but manages to keep up with her. They reach the landing in the center of the wheel, the height is already nauseating, but he realizes with dread they are only halfway there. And the rest of the way has no ladder. Tris wastes no time in squeezing into the metal framework of the wheel and climbing up the array of bars and rungs. He watches her pull herself upwards with ease and not a single second of hesitation. All anyone had to do was watch her right now and understand how someone so unassuming ranked first.

"Are you coming or what?"

He snaps out of his daze and climbs after her. The steel groans under his weight. As they get closer to the top, there's a few gunshots as Peter's team reaches the wheel and realizes their flag is in jeopardy. But by that point, they were so high up in the wheel, the paintballs were never going to reach them. The game is basically theirs—as long as they don't fall to their death, that is.

Tris lets him do the honors of retrieving the flag and he waves it to the gathering crowd below them. Celebratory whoops rise from their team members and he can practically see Peter's scowl from all the way up there.

But the descent is the hard part.

As in, on his way down to the landing in the middle, a section breaks off from under his feet. He doesn't have enough time to tighten his grip, so he actually free falls for a whole second—the longest second of his life—before his hands grasp around another bar. He dangles by one hand, three feet below the landing, and hundreds of feet from the ground.

"Tris? A little help."

"Shit! Hold on, I'm coming."

She maneuvers down to a cross section of two bars, the only sturdy spot remaining after a whole section of the Ferris wheel broke off. She crouches down and extends her hand to him. She's wearing those fingerless gloves again, the same ones she wore when he first met her the day of the Choosing Ceremony. As he swings his other arm up and grabs her hand, he wonders if he made the right choice choosing Dauntless after all. He's currently one hand slip away from certain death, he was beaten unconscious yesterday, and he lives in constant paranoia of being discovered for being Divergent.

But then Tris pulls him up and he finds his footing on the same crossed bars. They're so close that their feet have to overlap and when they stand up, her face is practically pressed against his chest. She smiles shyly (and he's never seen her shy about anything before) and her eyes are absurdly pretty under the moonlight and she gently pats his chest twice.

"Well, that's one way to get over your fear."

She keeps her hand over his chest and his heart hasn't stopped racing and he feels a sort of emotion that there is no word for and he thinks, yes. He made the right choice coming here.

/

In his second fight, he wins.

/

When they practice throwing knives, he's glad to learn that his aim is still perfectly intact. Just like at the shooting range, he has a quick learning curve and is the first to throw a dagger onto the target, even before anyone else can even get theirs to stick to the wood.

As he prepares to throw his next knife, someone subtly shoves him from behind and the knife slips from his hand, clattering onto the floor to the side. He turns around ready to roll his eyes at Eric, but instead finds Tris with a stern look on her face.

"Careful. They're watching."

He looks by the door and sees that Peter and a few other Dauntless officials have stopped by the training room to observe the transfers. He remembers Tori warning him not to draw attention to himself. He remembers Tori instructing him to do as Tris says. Tris continues walking but gives him another knowing look and he wonders if she can see right through him.

So, he stops drawing attention to himself. For the next ten minutes anyway. Because when Peter decides to pick on Shauna, who is particularly awful with the knives, and orders her to stand in front of the target—he couldn't help it.

"Stop. That doesn't prove anything."

Lauren, who is standing beside him, squeezes his forearm hard in warning and Tris, who is across the room, glares daggers at him sharper than any of the ones they've been throwing. Both trying desperately to get him to shut up.

But Peter just grins and hands him the knives.

"Alright, Four. If it doesn't prove anything…then why don't you throw the knives? If you don't want your friend to get hurt, just don't hit her."

And he doesn't hit her. Not even a scratch. Shauna lets go of the breath she was holding, Peter looks disappointed but dismisses them, and Tris doesn't even look at him.

/

"I'm gonna get cut."

"No, Shauna, you don't know that."

"But I'm so bad at fighting! And with the knives. If I lose another match, I'm going to be ranked last and I'm going to be factionless."

No one knows what to say because it's true. At the rate she's going, Shauna is definitely not going to make it to the second round. And Four can't let that happen.

"I'll help you."

"What?"

"Yeah. I've been doing extra training at night to improve my fighting. You can train with me and I'll teach you the small tricks and strategies to win your last fight."

"You'll really do that for me?"

"Sure. That's what Abnegation friends are for."

Shauna laughs and hugs him and tells him he's her favorite. He's never been anyone's favorite before.

/

He and Shauna both win their last fight, but he still lies awake all night trying to predict how the rankings will be numerically scored and calculate the probability that Shauna makes the cutoff point. It's going to be close. And he's going to worry.

The next day is Visiting Day and even though he knows with every honest bone in his body that his father would never step foot in Dauntless, he goes out into the Pit with Shauna and Lauren anyway. They quickly find their families and leave him standing to the side, watching the happy reunions take place. Among the mass of Dauntless black, the transfers' visiting families sprinkle the Pit with Erudite blue and Candor white. There's even a splash of Amity yellow and red as Mia's family boldly came to visit her.

There's no grey though.

He's about to go back to the dormitory when he sees Tris leaning against a railing, watching the crowd just like he had been. The fact that she's alone must mean she's not a Dauntless-born. He wonders which faction a girl like Tris could ever have belonged to besides Dauntless through and through.

She also looks different, he realizes. Her hair is down, rather than the tight knot it's usually in during training. And she's wearing eyeliner which makes her look older and sophisticated. And she's wearing a dress with a hemline short enough to make the entire Abnegation faction faint. He has to quickly look away from her lean legs as he feels his cheeks warm with an embarrassed blush. With his averted gaze, he notices two dark lines peeking out from her dress sleeve, the bottom of another secret tattoo.

He looks away too late and she's caught him staring. To his surprise, she beckons him to come closer. He slowly walks over until he's a just a footstep away and nervously shoves his hands into his black jean pockets. Not that he's been counting, but she hasn't spoken to him since the knife throwing incident.

"Your family didn't come?"

"No. Did yours?"

She smiles wistfully.

"My mother did, yes."

He briefly wonders if his mother would have come, if she was still alive. He briefly wonders if he would have stayed in Abnegation, if she was still alive.

He shakes his head. Best not dwell on thoughts like that.

"Um…is that the dress you bought after winning the game?"

"Yeah, you like it?"

She twirls a full circle and the dress spins out. The action is so unexpectedly youthful and feminine, he is reminded that she's indeed only an eighteen-year-old girl.

And she's pretty. That's the weird feeling inside him that's been nagging him ever since the Ferris wheel. He thinks she's pretty. He _fancies_ her, even. This is completely unfamiliar waters here because he's never thought a girl pretty before, mainly because all women hide their beauty in Abnegation since it leads to vanity. But he's not in Abnegation anymore and girls in Dauntless aren't afraid to flaunt and in this moment, he thinks he's in the presence of a goddess.

They both turn when Tris's name is called and he sees Christina, Will, Uriah, and, to his surprise, Tori. They wave at Tris to join them as they head down the corridor towards the shops. Tris walks about three steps before she stops and turns around to Four again.

"You're gonna be fine, Stiff."

And then she hurries after her friends. He watches her give Tori a small hug before Uriah drapes his arm across Tris's shoulders and they disappear around the corridor.

/

He's ranked third amongst the transfers after round one. Eric is first, which he made sure to boast to every person he sees. Lauren is second. Mia is seventh. Shauna is eighth.

There's a round of empty congratulations and absentminded hugs before they all turn their attention back to Tris. Because it doesn't matter so much how they ranked againstt each other. It matters how they ranked against the Dauntless-borns.

It matters if Shauna is factionless or not.

Tris reads off the names of the four initiates who ranked the worst and who will have to leave. The eleventh place transfer, the tenth place transfer, the ninth place transfer…and the last place Dauntless-born.

Lauren sighs so loudly she almost blows him over. He lets out a loud whoop (which is singlehandedly the most Dauntless-esque thing he's done to date) and hugs Shauna. She's safe. She's still here. Lauren and Mia and the fifth place transfer, a girl from Erudite who sometimes talks to Shauna, all join in as well, piling into a massive group hug. He's never been hugged so many times in his life and it's kind of nice. Eric and the other boys scoff at the sight. Is it weird that Four has only managed to befriend the girls? Maybe. But right now he couldn't care less. He lets Shauna jump onto his back and gives her a piggy-back ride out of the dormitory.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Tris watching them with a strange expression on her face. Envy? He shakes the silly idea of his head.

/

"We're going to do _what_?"

He stands next to Zeke on the roof of a tall tower. A single metal rope is connected to the top of the tower and extends down into the city out of sight. Uriah climbs into a sort of harness, latches the top to the metal rope, and dives headfirst into the open air. Four's stomach twists with vertigo, even though he's still standing firmly on the roof. It's a sort of ritual, apparently. Usually only the Dauntless-born initiates can attend, but Zeke made a point of inviting Four. And now they're being shoved into a sloppy line for the zip line and he wants to be anywhere but here.

There's a tap on his shoulder. It's Tris. She wears a wide grin and her eyes have a certain unusual brightness. Then he sees the brown bottle in her hand and realizes she's been drinking. Behind her, Christina, Will, Marlene, and a few more Dauntless he doesn't know wave at him. It's probably a really bad idea to zip line fifty stories above the ground while drunk, but hey, they're Dauntless. One of the Dauntless woman he doesn't recognize introduces herself as Lynn, Shauna's sister. He's about to apologize for not bringing Shauna along but Lynn only tells him to whip my little sister into shape, won't you? It's becoming embarrassing.

Before he knows it, it's Zeke's turn, and then he disappears over the ledge with a loud scream and then it's his turn, and then he's falling.

_And holy shit, it was the most terrifying thing he's ever done._

Later, when he's finally on sturdy ground, he has to sit for a good ten minutes, waiting for his heart to stop racing. While all the other Dauntless are yelling and screaming from this exhilarating high, he's just trying to recover from having his life pass in front of his eyes. Good God, he thought he was going to die.

A small body comes flying down toward the drop-off location next. Uriah lets out a loud laugh and shouts Tris's name. Somehow, she manages to shout back.

The people form the net of interlocked arms again and Four joins the disorderly mass of limbs. As Tris frees herself from the cord, she accidentally slips a little and falls a little too much towards the side, which means the whole group of hand-holding Dauntless had to shuffle a few steps back to catch her. She ends up falling practically directly on top of Four.

Everyone else laughs and lets go of their arms, a few losing their balance in the shuffle and falling to the ground. He still carries Tris in his arms and he moves to set her down, but she wraps her arms around his neck instead, bringing her face insanely close to his. His heart rate picks up again in a whole different kind of vertigo.

"I see you're learning to make friends. At least with the ladies."

Her breath smells like alcohol and he's never seen her so not composed, but it's kind of cute. Endearing, even.

"Yeah, I can't quite get the boys to like me."

"They're just intimidated by you. I mean, you're all broody and serious all the time and you're threatening to kick them to the bottom of the rankings. But us girls, well, we're more forgiving. Especially when you have a nice face."

She gently places her hand on his cheek for a second before she hops down from his arms and roughly drags him back to the crowd again as they catch the next person.

His cheek still burns from her touch and this is the precise moment when he realizes that he was in way over his head.

He's in love with a girl who is light-years out of his league.

/

The second stage simulations haven't been that bad. A really small confined box. Falling endlessly in a bottomless abyss. All very horrible, but they're only simulations. He knows it's not real. And he's been setting record times.

But his last simulation—the second he opens his eyes and sees the grey walls to his old Abnegation home, he just knows. His whole body fills with dread, then defeat, and finally absolute fear. He thought he had escaped. He thought he never had to face his father again.

A footstep. His father appears before him, belt in hand.

Another footstep. A second Marcus appears.

Then a third.

A fourth.

They all attack at once and even though he's stronger now, even though he knows how to fight back now, he's utterly powerless. The belts keep beating and his arms and back sting all over and he can only cower onto the floor, burying his face in his arms. He doesn't know how long he spends curled up like that on the floor with his four fathers continue to yell at him. Maybe it's been twenty minutes. Maybe it's been days.

Faintly, almost as if it came from a different world, he feels a soft squeeze on his hand. It's Tris, back in the Dauntless simulation room, worrying about him. He doesn't know how it's possible for him to feel her touch, but he does. It reminds him that this isn't real. So he manipulates the scene. If there are four of his father, then there shall be four of him.

Four, like the imaginary versions of himself, like the factions he could have chosen from, like the number, like his name.

Dauntless Four stands, yanks the belt away from the first Marcus, and strikes him back. Erudite Four ducks under the second Marcus's swing and kicks, sending Marcus onto the floor. Candor Four yells back, louder than he's ever used his voice before, and punches the third Marcus in the jaw. Amity Four faces the fourth Marcus, who is on his knees begging Four to stay in Abnegation, like he had before the Choosing Ceremony. And Amity Four just glares at him and says, _I will never forgive you._

But just when he thinks it's finally over, a fifth Marcus appears along with a fifth version of himself. Abnegation Four is still skinny and weak like he was before he began training. When the fifth Marcus beats him with the belt, Abnegation Four does nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Suddenly, the simulation dissolves around him and he's back on the chair again. Tris must have overridden the simulation from the computer or something because no way did he get out of that one himself. He sits up and sneaks a look at the computer screen for his time. Ten minutes forty seconds. Much slower than his previous trials, yes, but still faster than all the other transfers' average times. Why did Tris stop it so soon?

Only then does he notice Tris's expression. Shock, disbelief, sympathy, sadness. But there was also something else in those tear-lined eyes, something he did not expect to see. Guilt.

She grabs both his shoulders and leans in close. With him seated and her standing, they are at almost perfect eye level. There's a hitch in her voice as she whispers the question.

"What is your name? Your real name."

"Tobias."

"Tobias Eaton?"

How would she know that? Perhaps she recognized Marcus as one of the Abnegation leaders? Before he can ask, she pulls him out through the back door and down a dark corridor towards the dormitory. Where the hidden cameras won't see, he realizes. Then, without warning, she hugs him, so tight his ribcage hurts.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. This is my fault."

"What are you talking about, Tris?"

He struggles to pull her away from him far enough so he can see her face. When her arm reached up to wrap around his neck, her sleeve slid back, revealing more of the hidden tattoo he had noticed a few days earlier. It's a circle—a faction seal.

He pushes the sleeve back all the way. It's the Abnegation faction symbol.

She smiles weakly through her tears.

"Wanna know a secret? Tris isn't my real name either. It's short for Beatrice."

Just like that, everything clicks into place.

"Beatrice Prior?"

They don't say anything else after that. They simply stand in each other's embrace in the hidden tunnels of the Dauntless compound, two lost Abnegation souls who didn't find each other until now, because all the fates were against them.

/

Erudite releases an article condemning Abnegation of cruelty against their children.

He doesn't say anything.

Because it's the truth, isn't it?

/

He goes to see Tori that night because he has so many questions and no one will give him answers. Why is being a Divergent so dangerous? Who is trying to kill the Divergents? Is Tris Divergent? What does it all mean? However, Tori turns away when he approaches her in the tattoo shop.

"We can't talk here. It's too conspicuous."

He looks around the parlor at all the designs on the walls. Then, he swiftly pulls off his shirt.

"I'm not here to talk. I'm here to get a tattoo."

He tells her that he wants four symbols in a row down his spine: Dauntless, Erudite, Candor, Amity. He also gives Tori "free reign" on making the rest of his back "look cool." In essence, he's just buying time.

And as he lays on his stomach on the cot and Tori draws the ink into his skin, she explains everything to him, as much as she can. She tells him about her brother, about how the leaders are afraid of Divergence, about how even after years have passed, she's still not over it.

"But you're gonna live, kid. I got Tris through initiation and she's sure as hell gonna get you through. I'm sure of it."

"So, Tris is…as well?"

Suddenly, he hears footsteps approaching. Her black leather boots come into his vision first, then her gloved hands, then her bird tattoos, and finally her smirking face.

"I'm what as well?"

Tori gives Tris a brief hug and then their boss is calling Tori over, pointing at the gathering crowd of customers around the shop. Four had been hogging Tori's time for a while. With a sly smile, Tris nudges Tori towards the awaiting customers and takes the tattoo gun from Tori's hand.

"You go ahead. I'll finish Four's from here."

When her cold fingers first make contact with his bare back, he shudders. She gently traces the four circles on his back and chuckles softly.

"Well, might as well tattoo DIVERGENT across your forehead, shall we?"

"I just figured if you could get another faction's symbol, so could I."

She finishes the design Tori had started. He watches her work and cannot imagine why someone so strong, so fierce, so determined could spend her days inside a darkly lit shop drawing designs on people's skins.

"Why did you choose to work here? You were ranked first. So why did you choose to work in the tattoo shop, of all places?"

"Dauntless leadership is no place for people like us. And besides, I wanted to be with Tori."

_People like us._ He smiles despite himself.

After she is finished, he stands up and inspects the work in the mirror. Around the circles, many long, sharp, black lines extend outwards from his back. He's so amazed by the handiwork that he almost didn't notice the fifth faction symbol that somehow ended up at the bottom.

"Why did you put the Abnegation symbol there too? I didn't want—"

She interrupts him by gently pressing her hands against his back. He turns around but she doesn't move, so she remains close, so close that his bare chest can practically feel her presence a mere inch away.

"What were your aptitude test results, Four?"

"Dauntless, Erudite, Candor, Amity."

"And?"

He sighs. She already knew.

"Don't be ashamed of who you are. Because you're not Four; you're Five. Didn't you see, back in your simulation? You've learned to come to terms with your first four selves, but the fifth is your weakness. Selflessness is not the same thing as weakness, Tobias."

It feels out of place hearing his real name here. But at the same time, it also feels like he's finally himself. Blame it on Dauntless bravery or Candor rashness, but he decides to reach for her hand. They interlace fingers and she doesn't say anything. She doesn't pull away either.

She's probably right, anyway. It's unhealthy for him to project his hatred for his father onto the whole faction. Besides, not everyone in Abnegation is horrible, because the beautiful girl in front of him holding his hand is quite the contrary.

/

"Congrats, Four! You're ranked first!"

/

A strange thing happens on the first day of the third round of initiation after Tris brings them to fear landscape room in the Pire. When Four glances out one of the large windows, he swears he sees a man with an eye-patch standing outside. But the man disappears behind a ledge, so quickly Four cannot be sure anyone was there at all. When he walks over closer to the window to peer out, no one is there.

That night, when he goes to sleep, he moves his arm to wrap underneath his pillow as he sleeps on his stomach and his hand brushes against something. He lifts his pillow to find a small folded-up piece of paper. Looking around the dormitory, he sees that most of the initiates are already asleep and those that are still up are talking amongst themselves, not paying him any attention. He quickly unfolds the note and reads the scribbled words in the dim lighting.

_Tobias—_  
_Meet at the train yard tomorrow 7 pm._

Who wrote this? For a second, he thinks it's Tris since she is the only one in Dauntless who knows his real name. But the handwriting doesn't match Tris's and something about this note—the faded yellow color as if the paper is decades old, the cursive letters that look oddly familiar—is terribly unsettling. And if it's not from Tris, then it has to be from some other faction. That means someone was here, in this dormitory. The Dauntless compound has countless security cameras, so it must have been no easy feat for the intruder to break in and leave undetected and unscathed. All to deliver him this note.

Which means it must be important.

Which means he has to go.

/

The train is empty when he takes it to the train yard. He hops off at the platform and the man with the eye-patch is waiting for him, the same man he saw outside the Pire yesterday. The man is wearing a large red long-sleeve shirt and a pair of black jeans. Factionless, he realizes.

"Tobias Eaton?"

Four only nods. Suddenly, he feels apprehensive about this entire situation. But it's too late now and the eye-patched man is already walking down an alley, motioning for him to follow.

"There's someone who wants to see you."

They reach an old abandoned train and the man easily climbs up into the third car. Four looks at the man's black jeans again and wonders if he used to be Dauntless. After he climbs into the car, he sees the factionless man speaking to a woman in the corner. Her face is hidden in the shadow so he cannot see who it is. The factionless leader? Do the factionless even have leaders? And most importantly, how the hell do they know about him?

"Thank you, Edward. I'll take it from here."

Edward nods and hops off the train. But Four is only staring at the factionless woman because her voice…that voice…it's vaguely yet strikingly familiar, just like the handwriting on the note was. Not quite deja vu, not quite a memory, more like something monumental he forgot to remember, or remembered to forget.

She takes a step towards him into the light and he feels like he just got punched in the stomach, so hard it knocks the wind out of him. His mind races as he tries to process this unfathomable impossibility: this is a simulation, this is a dream, this is a cruel joke, a prank, an illusion, this is not real, this is not real, thisisnotrealthisisnotreal…

/

The train is empty when he takes it back to the Dauntless compound.

He's still shaking as he silently slips back inside and walks down the dark hallways. It's late; he stayed at the train yard talking to Evelyn for a long time. There's a lot of information to process, a lot of decisions to make, and a lot of conflicting emotions to feel.

He is so distracted and lost in his thoughts that he does not hear the footsteps approaching until there is a sack over his head and three pairs of arms shoving him at once. Adrenaline immediately pumps through his veins and he fights back, enough to shake off two of the attackers and rip the sack off his face. But then he gets the distinct sensation of a needle being injected into his neck. And then—

—then, it's _funny._ The two others get up off the ground and shove him backwards. He stumbles and loses his footing and he chuckles at how clumsy he is. His arms and legs feel heavy and numb, like he can barely lift them up, so he sits on the ground for a while, throwing his left arm up and watching it fall limply onto the ground. Now he throws his head back to laugh because God, it's so funny.

The three people talk quickly amongst themselves, like they don't know what to do with him. Before he knows it, two of them are hauling him up by arms and the third is lifting his legs and they're carrying him away. It almost feels like he's flying. He hopes they keep carrying him for a while because he's tired and his legs are so heavy and he doesn't think he can walk.

They pass under a blue light and he catches sight of the face of the person who's holding him up by the legs.

"Oh, Mia! Hi, I didn't recognize you."

She stops walking and loses her grip, so his feet fall hard against the pavement. She looks utterly horrified and he doesn't know why.

"Don't do that, you look pretty when you smile. Mia, I'm glad we're friends, aren't you? Wait, do I know you guys too?"

Four leans his head back to peer at the two others. One quickly turns his face away, but he easily recognized the second.

"Eric! Look, okay, I know we may not like each other too much but what do you say we put—hey, are we by the river?"

The sound of water rushing fills his ears. Even though Mia is no longer carrying his legs, Eric and the other boy continue to drag him closer and closer to the ledge that overlooks the river. Eric pulls him up until he's standing on his feet again, leaning into the metal railing. He feels water splash across his face and the coldness makes him alert. What's going on?

Too late. Eric forcefully kicks his feet forward and they slip over the ledge. In his overly drowsing state, Four manages to grab onto the railing as he fell, but not much else. Behind him, he hears a piercing scream.

"STOP! No, please, stop!"

It's Mia. She rushes forward and tries to help Four back up, but Eric punches her in the jaw, sending her to the ground.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Four's hands still feel so heavy and so numb. He can barely hang on. He can barely hang on.

/

What happens next he only remembers in fragments:

People running at them.

Someone helping him back to safety.

Mia crying on the ground.

People running away.

Tris's face close to his, telling him to stay awake, stay awake…

/

He doesn't stay awake.

/

The next morning, he opens his eyes to find himself in Tris's apartment, on her bed, which is just the big finish to the list of outrageous things that have happened in the past 24 hours.

She walks over to him and sits on the bed facing him. He moves his legs aside to give her room and she crosses her legs. There are dark circles under her eyes and a cut above her eyebrow.

"Why am I here? How did I get here?"

"You don't remember? They injected you with a strong triple dose of a peace serum. They tried to throw you off the ledge, but Mia had a change of heart at the last second. Uriah and I ran over as fast as we could. Uriah chased down Eric and Randall while I helped you back here."

He sits up with some difficulty. His whole body still feels heavy like lead. Tentatively, he reaches out to gently touch the side of her head while he inspects the cut.

"Did they hurt you?"

"Eric threw in a good punch, but I threw in a better one."

The thought of Tris beating Eric up makes him ridiculously happy.

"What were you and Uriah doing out so late at night that you were there to hear us?"

"The Erudite came to Dauntless last night. Christina saw them being ushered to Max's office, so a bunch of us went to eavesdrop. Jeanine Matthews kept referring to some 'agreement' they had and the Erudite brought over many boxes full of simulation serum. The Erudite do supply us with the serum used during initiation, but there was enough supply for ten times the initiation class. There was enough supply for the entire Dauntless population."

"What are they trying to do, put everyone under a simulation?"

"I don't know. But Erudite and Abnegation tension has been rising recently and I don't like it. And that's not the worst part. You know how you're immune to the simulation because you're Divergent? Apparently Jeanine knows too, because the last thing she said to Max was 'Use it to smoke out the Divergent and bring them to me.' That's why Uriah and I were up so late last night. We had to come up with a plan."

"You mean, Uriah is Divergent as well? How many more are there in Dauntless?"

"As of right now, you and Uriah are the only other living Divergent I know of. And I'd rather not wait for the Erudite to find out who our other friends are."

_Living_ Divergent. He thinks about Tori's brother and how he was found in the chasm one morning, without warning. Then he remembers that the same thing would have happened to him this morning if it wasn't for Tris.

"Is that why they were trying to kill me? Because they found out I was Divergent?"

She laughs but it doesn't reach her tired eyes.

"No, of course not. They just wanted to kill you because you're ranked first and threatening to kick them out of Dauntless. They are too stupid to realize that being factionless is the least of their worries right now, if there is a possible war brewing."

"Even Mia?"

"She's ranked last, Four. Who do you think got the peace serum? It's only used in Amity. Dauntless initiation brings out the worst in people. Trust me, I've seen it. But let's not talk about that. Where were you last night? I didn't see you at dinner."

"I…um…wait, if I slept in your bed last night, where did you sleep?"

It was probably the most obvious subject change in history and Tris's eyes narrow to inspect him suspiciously, but she doesn't push and he's grateful. Instead, she smiles slyly, the same way she does whenever she wins a gamble.

"I didn't sleep. Uriah and Tori both came here for a while to discuss a plan and I snooped around Max and Peter's offices to try to find any information. Although, you were quite generous in inviting me to join you on the bed. Multiple times."

Her tone is light and teasing. And as he recalls some of the loopy words he said earlier under the peace serum, he has an aching suspicion there was more humiliating things he did that she wanted to make fun of. He buries his face in his hands.

"Stop grinning like that and just tell me what other stupid thing I said."

Instead of telling him though, she leans forward and wraps her arms around his waist. She tilts her head up and kisses his cheek before resting her head in the crook of his neck. He's so shocked, it takes him a good minute before he folds his arms around her, holding her close. And for a moment, nothing else existed and everything was okay.

/

Two initiates are missing and Eric has a black eye during training that day. Peter entered the room and discussed something briefly with Tris and Christina before Tris stepped in front of the murmuring initiates.

"Randall is in the infirmary and will not be joining us today. Mia has chosen to leave Dauntless and will no longer be part of the initiation process."

Even more murmurs follow her announcement. Lauren and Shauna quickly find him and ask if he knows anything about what happened. For Mia's sake, for her dignity and morality, he shrugs and shakes his head.

/

"How come we practiced in Christina's fear landscape instead of yours today?"

He is following Tris up a flight of steps and down a tunnel he's never been before. He doesn't know where they're going, but she tapped him on the shoulder after dinner and he got up without a word. Frankly, he'd follow her anywhere.

"Because only special people get to see my fear landscape."

They turn a corner and he finally realizes where they're going—back to the fear landscape room. He can't help the smile on his face.

"So, I'm special people then?"

"Oh shut up."

She sticks her tongue out at him and it's damn adorable.

/

One. They are being attacked by crows, so many that he can't count or see or breathe. Tris is screaming and there's panic in her eyes. He reaches for her arm and only then does she snap out of it, as if she only just remembered this is a simulation. Two guns appear in the grass and they shoot the crows, back to back.

Two. They are in a tank filled with rising water. She's calmer now, and she simply stands waiting for the tank to fill. He trusts that she knows what she's doing, having obviously been through her own fear landscape before, but the tank is small and his own fear of confinement is slowly creeping in. When it's clear she isn't going to take any action until they're both fully submerged, he takes off his jacket, holds his breath, crouches down to where the water pipe is, and stuffs it shut with his jacket. The water stops rising.

"Oh. I never thought of that."

Three, Four, Five.

Six. They're now standing five feet (too far) apart and she has a gun in her hand as her next fear materializes. Jeanine Matthews is there as well as Tris's family. He recognizes her father and he guesses the teenage boy is her brother. Jeanine instructs Tris to shoot her family. Before Four even has time to realize what she's about to do, she aims the gun to her own head and pulls the trigger. She doesn't even blink.

Seven. They are back in her Dauntless apartment. She sits on her bed with her legs crossed in front of her, like she was this morning. He paces her room for a while, waiting for someone to break in or for the river to burst through the wall or for the whole place to set on fire, but nothing happens. He turns to her expectantly.

"I don't understand. There's usually a man here. I guess my fear landscape changed? But what—"

She stops abruptly and stares at him with wide eyes. She clutches her quilt so tightly her knuckles turn white and he's never seen her so afraid or so vulnerable or so small. He looks behind him, but it's still an empty room. Then he figures it out: it's _him_. _He_'s the new man in the room.

"Tris, relax it's just me."

He takes a step towards her and she visibly shuffles backwards on the bed. He stops dead in his tracks.

"You're scared of me?"

She doesn't move and he can hear her loud heartbeat from where he's standing. Maybe it's rash and he knows full well it'll frighten her even more, but he walks the rest of the way and places his hands on her shoulders. As expected she flinches at the touch.

"Why are you scared of me? I'm not going to hurt you."

"It's not that."

Her voice trembles and she can't look him in the eye. Only then does he notice that she is hugging herself, like she is trying to shield her body. From what? From him?

"Tris, you have to tell me what's going on."

She takes a deep, shaky breath and the truth spills out hurriedly, sentences flowing together, a dam breaking free.

"Last night when you were under the peace serum, you told me that you think you're in love with me. And I'm not gonna lie, I am attracted to you too, but this whole thing is all new to me and I'm scared, Four. That's my last fear. A fear of intimacy."

And he's so relieved he wants to laugh. He presses his forehead against hers, slowly so as not to frighten her, and cradles her cheek with his hand.

"I meant what I said, even if I was heavily drugged when I said it. And this is all new to me too, obviously. But we can take this slow. I'm in no rush. Please don't be scared of me."

"Really?"

"Listen to me. I'm real. I'm not a simulation. And I love you."

He kisses her and she's hesitant at first, but then she melts into his arms, hooking one of hers around his neck.

And then it's over. The simulation ends and the bed disappears from underneath her and she slips apart from him for a second as she falls to the ground. He easily pulls her back to her feet and she fits herself flush against him.

"Seven fears. Is that a record?"

"Yes. But it might be six now."

She grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him down to kiss him again.

/

Turns out, Four has four fears. How about that.

/

He ranks first overall, even beating out the Dauntless-born initiates. Lauren, Shauna, and Zeke make it too. Eric makes it as well but at least Randall got cut, so it's a partial victory.

During the celebration, he gets so excited he forgets all pretenses and kisses Tris in front of everyone. Lauren, Shauna, and Zeke look dumbfounded. On the other hand, Tris's friends seemed to have made another bet about this and now Marlene gloats.

"See, I told you guys they'd be together by the end of initiation!"

Marlene gives Uriah a small peck on the cheek. Will throws one arm around Christina and uses the other to clap Four rather hardly on the back.

"Thanks to you, my good man, Tris no longer has to be the fifth wheel. Now we just need to find someone for Lynn."

Lynn just rolls her eyes.

"A lot of help you are, Tris. I was counting on you to be my lesbian lover."

/

The celebration goes on well into the night. After both Four and Tris are well and tipsy from the alcohol, she half stumbles and half drags him down a series of tunnels until they end up back where it all began. The giant net where he first jumped into Dauntless.

The two of them climb onto the net and roll into the middle. He is much heavier than she is, so his weight pulls her towards his center of gravity until she's practically on top of him, to which he's certainly not complaining.

"I sometimes come here when I want to be alone, but I think I like it better when you keep me company."

She kisses him twice, more sloppily and more passionately than ever, before settling down with her head on his chest. They stay like that for what feels like hours.

He is counting the stars overhead while absentmindedly playing with a strand of her hair when he finally gets the courage to ask the question.

"Have you ever…who else have you…dated?"

She shifts so that she's facing him, with her elbow on his chest and her head balanced on her hand. She chuckles a little bit, probably laughing at how flustered he is.

"No one."

"No one?"

"Just you."

"But…you're you. Unless you're actually not that pretty or amazing and my brain is just wired wrong."

She smacks him hard across the chest, but she smiles.

"I mean, I've been on dates. You know Christina, of course she'd want to set me up with every half-decent boy she meets. But the dates always end badly. Horrifically. Will once said that it's probably because boys don't know what to do with me. I can be a handful sometimes."

"So you're saying you've never liked a single Dauntless boy in all history of time?"

"Well...there was Al, my friend—used to be my friend. He was a transfer with me, Christina, and Will. The four of us used to hang out together. It was pretty obvious that he liked me and I thought, you know, I could probably learn to eventually return his feelings..."

"Then what happened?"

He doesn't recall ever meeting an Al here. But she tenses up and tears start to well in her eyes and shit, he didn't realize this was going to be a sensitive subject. Sitting up, he pulls her into his lap and keeps a strong hold around her waist.

"He died. He tried to kill me, just like Mia tried to kill you. Afterwards, he tried to apologize but I refused to forgive him and then, he killed himself. Jumped into the river he tried to throw me into. I never told anyone about that incident. They all thought Al committed suicide because he knew he wasn't going to pass initiation."

She wipes the tears from her eyes. It aches him to see her like this, but he appreciates how trusting she is, how willing she is to pour open her soul and share her secrets. Secrets remind him of Evelyn and death reminds him that Erudite might start a war and he is forced to come to terms with the fact that his world is bigger than just him and Tris on this net. Bigger than Dauntless, even. Because a man with an eye-patch is coming to meet him tomorrow night and he still hasn't made a decision.

And maybe he doesn't have to make the decision alone.

"Do you wanna know where I went the night Eric, Randall, and Mia attacked?"

Her eyebrows go up in surprise but she nods eagerly. Obviously she hasn't forgotten about his blatant sidestepping of the question two nights ago.

"That night, I left Dauntless to go meet my mother."

"Four…your mother is dead."

"That's what I thought too."

/

"Hey Tris, so Shauna and I were talking and if things don't work out between you and Four, we'd be happy to introduce you to our little brother Hector. Since you're into younger guys and all."

Tris throws her muffin at Lynn's face.

It's Four's first morning as an official Dauntless member. He sits with Tris, Lynn, Shauna, Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, Christina, Will, and Lauren, all squeezed into one table that's slightly too small to fit everyone. And he's happy. After breakfast, he gets to move his belongings into his own little apartment and then he'll have first pick of job assignments. Maybe he'll pick a leadership position, just so Eric can't. He's still pondering what job to choose when Max appears and silences the crowd. To everyone's surprise, Jeanine Matthews is standing there beside Max.

And Four has the sinking feeling that maybe he won't even get to pick a job at all.

"Good morning everyone and congratulations again to all the new members of Dauntless. I do not mean to dampen your celebrations, but new events have come to our attention and action must be taken. The Erudite have alerted all the factions that the Divergent population among us all has been rising. And, as you know, that is a dangerous thing."

Jeanine's eyes peer over us, like a predator waiting for any sign of movement, ready to pounce. Under the table, Tris reaches for Four's hand. He sees that she holds onto Uriah's with her other. Max continues:

"Security will be heightened. Everyone will be injected with a tracking serum so we can better ensure your protection. As for the Divergents, if there are any here, I encourage you to be brave and do the right thing."

Here, Jeanine takes her cue and steps in front of Max to address the crowd.

"All Divergents who report to Erudite headquarters and turns themselves in will not be persecuted. All those who don't, will be. Erudite appreciates Dauntless's cooperation."

After that, the dining chamber explodes in conversation as everyone reacts to the news.

"So they're real? The Divergent?"

"Of course they're real, Zeke, don't be stupid."

"They have something wrong with their brains. And they don't belong to just one faction, so they can't be trusted."

"Shauna, don't start this again."

"No, Lynn, I will start this again. Because you heard them. The Divergent population is rising and that's dangerous. They could bring down the entire faction system!"

Tris turns to face Shauna with a stone cold expression.

"So what are you saying? You agree with Jeanine and you think the Divergent should just turn themselves in one by one?"

"Jeanine said they won't be prose—"

"Bullshit."

Tris looks like she's about to say more, but she freezes. Four follows her gaze back up to where Max and Jeanine stand. Two other Erudite have appeared beside their leader, listening intently to whatever Jeanine is saying. One is an older man with a bald head and the other is younger, with a face that looks vaguely familiar. And then Tris is out of her seat and sprinting down a hallway. He looks back and no one at the table seems to know why she did that. He quickly stands and follows after her.

She is so fast that he loses her trail. It's only after he hears her voice does he find her upstairs, with the younger Erudite man backed into a corner while she screams at the top of her lungs.

"How could you, Caleb?!"

Oh. That's why he looked familiar. He was in her fear landscape. Except, in her fear landscape, she was afraid of having to kill him and here he is, helping Jeanine kill her.

"I am only doing what is right. Divergence is a threat. Look, just follow directions for once in your life, alright? Do what they tell you and no one will get hurt."

"No, no one but the Divergent."

She stares at her brother with an expression so penetrating, so heartbreaking, of course he understands what she's implying. Then Caleb's face crumbles.

"Oh God. No, no, no. Beatrice, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"But that doesn't make any difference, does it? You're still gonna help her, you're still gonna hunt down the Divergent and you're still gonna wage war on Abnegation! Our parents, Caleb! What about our parents?!"

"I am not Abnegation anymore. Neither are you."

At those cold words, she launches herself at her brother. Four hurries in to grab her around the waist and pry her away. Caleb takes the opportunity to escape. He looks back and repeats his apology again:

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Tris struggles against Four's grasp, reaching for Caleb like she wants to simultaneously scratch his eyes out and hug him tight, never letting go. There are tears in her eyes now.

"Faction over blood, then? That's how it's going to be?"

Caleb disappears around the corner and doesn't look back.

/

At nightfall, the train zooms by them, completely empty except for Edward, who nimbly jumps off and lands on his feet. He looks surprised to see Tris standing beside Four, but he nods at her in greeting and she nods back. It strikes Four that they already know each other.

Edward claps his hands together and looks at them expectantly.

"So? Do we have an agreement?"

"We're in."

/

It becomes apparent how they intend to smoke out the Divergents.

Just on the way to the train alone, Four witnessed two Divergent Dauntless get shot because they weren't smart enough to know to fake it. As they approach Abnegation, he hears some shuffling behind him and then Tris appears on his left, Uriah on his right. He prays with every fiber in his being that the plan works. It needs to.

And it does work. Right up to the point where Peter presses the barrel of his gun to Tris's forehead.

"Good old Tris, first jumper Tris, seven fears Tris, first ranking Tris. I could shoot you right now and you can't do anything about it. I could shoot you and no one would know."

Maybe Peter doesn't actually intend on killing her. Maybe he doesn't have the guts. But before Four could stop himself, he steps out of formation and aims his gun at the back of Peter's head. A second guard immediately points his at Four and Tris brings her to the guard. All daring the other to shoot first.

Peter chuckles to himself.

"So the two Stiffs are both Divergent. Cute."

It's hard to say how the stalemate would have ended otherwise, but what Peter didn't account for was the fact that there are three of them.

Uriah shoots the guard. Four shoots Peter in the leg. Then they run.

After five blocks of houses, it looks as if the Dauntless army have them surrounded. That's when a storm of bullets is fired from behind and all the Dauntless fall to the ground, revealing Evelyn and her team of factionless. It's terribly strange seeing his mother brandish a rifle.

Evelyn quickly ushers everyone towards the train tracks, explaining how they managed to rescue some of the Abnegation and are bringing them to a safe house. He doesn't know how they managed to get into the train's control system, but the train remains stationary on the track until they are all on board and then starts moving away from the Abnegation sector, away from the brain-dead Dauntless soldiers, away from genocide.

On the train, Tris is reunited with both her parents. Oddly enough, both Evelyn and Marcus are there in the same car as well, but his family remains as far apart from each other as possible. He scans the mass of armed factionless rebels and Abnegation refugees. Mia is there. He thinks he might learn to forgive her, perhaps, eventually.

/

After they get the refugees into the safe house, it's clear they must return to Dauntless to shut down the simulation. Accompanying Four, Tris, and Uriah are Edward and Mia (since they were both Dauntless initiates once) along with Four and Tris's parents.

Eric, of all people, is the guard they first run into back in Dauntless headquarters. He raises his gun to shoot but then slowly sets it back down when he sees nine guns pointing back at him.

Out of nowhere, Tris pulls out a knife and stabs Eric in the leg. He's about to cry out in pain but she covers his mouth with her hand to stifle the scream.

"That's for trying to kill Four, coward."

Four feels honored and slightly intimidated by her action.

Now, the ten of them make their way up to the control room with Eric limping along as a prisoner of war. Security increases tenfold when they reach the glass-paned level above the Pit. They manage to fend off the guards, but Edward took a bullet to the arm and it's obvious Eric is slowing them down. So they leave Edward, Marcus, and Andrew to watch Eric and fend off any other incoming guards while the rest continue up the elevator.

The second the doors open, there's gunfire. Four immediately presses against the wall, pinning Tris against him, and the others do the same. Uriah and Mia stick their guns out and fire back at the attackers.

"There's too many of them! We'll have to split up!"

At a pause in the shootout, Natalie reloads her gun and pulls Uriah back, taking his spot near the elevator doors.

"Mia, Evelyn, and I will run out first, to distract the guards. The three of you go up and find Jeanine and stop the simulation."

"But Mom!"

Natalie kisses Tris's forehead and then runs. No such exchange happens between Four and his mother, but she gives him a tight-lipped smile. Mia quickly follows after the two women. They run down the hall when reinforcements show up. When the last of the guards have passed, Four, Tris, and Uriah slip out undetected and head for the staircase. Uriah lets out a low whistle.

"Damn, my mom is nowhere near as badass as yours. And she's actually Dauntless!"

Inside the control room, there are only three guards. Four doesn't understand why there would be so little protection for the most important room until they approach closer and he sees who the three Dauntless guards are.

Shauna, Christina, and Marlene.

They all freeze. Across from them, their friends raise their guns in simulated synchronicity.

Several Erudite are at the computers, typing away at the simulation data. Caleb, unfortunately, is one of them. Jeanine looks up from her screen and acknowledges their presence as if it were only a minor inconvenience.

"Tobias, Beatrice, and Uriah. Could you possibly be here to surrender and turn yourselves in?"

"Never."

The word comes out of Four like a bullet. Jeanine does look taken aback, but she shrugs nonchalantly.

"Very well then."

She presses a button on her keyboard. Shauna, Christina, and Marlene begin to advance. Jeanine must have known the three of them would come to try to stop her, so she specifically called back the Dauntless members each of them care about most. They might have empty eyes, but how could Four shoot Shauna? How could Tris shoot Christina? How could Uriah shoot Marlene?

Shauna fires and Four ducks out of the way just in time. He kicks the gun out of her hands, but she just punches him in the stomach, sending him to the ground. She tries to pick up her gun but he swipes at her feet, making her fall as well. Then there's fists flying everywhere and it breaks his heart.

Once, he defended Shauna against Peter and threw knives at her and didn't even make a single scratch. Once, he taught her fighting tactics late at night and barely got any sleep, just so she could pass the first round of initiation. Once, she told him he was her favorite. Now she's trying to kill him.

Somewhere in the scramble, he fires his gun. He had to.

He pushes Shauna off of him and doesn't look at her. Part of him wants to know if she's still alive but the other part of him couldn't bear it if she is not. As he stands, he sees that Uriah had managed to knock Marlene unconscious, though he has a horrible gash on his head.

Two gunshots. Tris's shoulder is bleeding. Christina falls to the ground. Tris drops her gun like it burns her and a sob wracks through her shaking body. Just like that, she lost her best friend. Four desperately wants to console her, but there isn't time.

He rushes to where the computers are and presses his gun right into the back of Jeanine's head. The Erudite look up in alarm. Uriah now joins him with his gun. As for Tris, she just goes up to Caleb and punches him square in the jaw.

"Turn off the simulation."

His voice is steady, but Jeanine doesn't move.

"You know I'm not going to do that."

And he didn't come all this way, kill all these people, just to let Jeanine Matthews win.

He knows a thing or two about computers and Uriah does as well; he works in the Dauntless control room in charge of surveillance and data. So while the two of them work at the computer, Tris keeps the Erudite aside by keeping a gun aimed at them, although her right arm is wounded and her left is visibly shaking. Still, the Erudite are smart enough to realize that even injured, traumatized Tris is stronger than all of them combined, so they stay put.

Four and Uriah's fingers fly across the keyboards and endless strands of binary code and simulation data fly across the multiple screens. But nothing. They can't find the termination sequence. To the side, a screen broadcasts a live feed of the Abnegation sector where all the Dauntless soldiers have surrounded the Abnegation.

"You know, I must say, I'm impressed. I thought Ms. Prior and her triple faction test results were astonishing enough. But getting all five? Unheard of."

He hates how Jeanine is trying to turn his Divergence, his greatest strength, into his greatest weakness. He hates how Jeanine talks to him with such a casual tone, like she already knows they're going to fail and she's only playing along to appease them, like they are only petty children.

He goes to the last computer at the far end, hoping that some useful information will present itself at last. What he doesn't expect is for Caleb, who stands closest to him, to inconspicuously tap his arm and slip a small hard drive into his hand. Jeanine had turned her attention to taunting Tris now, so no one notices the exchange.

Of course, he's still suspicious of Caleb. But he figures, there's nothing worse that could happen if he inserts the hard drive, so what's the point of Caleb giving it to him if not to help? People can have change of hearts. He'd really like to believe that.

So, he plugs the hard drive into the computer. The screen flashes and then a new window pops up. A loading bar zips across the screen so fast he almost misses it. And then there it is, the main code that runs the entire simulation. He quickly types in the code for termination and hits enter.

The Dauntless soldiers on the screen come to an abrupt halt and look down at their weapons in confusion. From the doorway, Shauna screams in pain. When Jeanine realizes what happens she runs to the computer but Four beats her to it. He deletes the entire data sequence.

Then, they're sprinting back outside. Caleb follows them, having proven his true allegiance. Tris doesn't look at him, though.

"I don't take back my punch."

"I know."

Uriah scoops Marlene, who is still unconscious but still breathing, up into his arms. Shauna is crying, perhaps from the bullet wound in her leg or perhaps from remembering all the innocent Abnegation members she killed or perhaps from both. But at least Shauna is still alive. Christina lies on the ground, a pool of blood gathering around her body, with open, lifeless eyes.

Four intends on helping Shauna and carrying her away to safety too, but then more Dauntless guards are rushing at them. Not simulation soldiers, actual Dauntless traitors. Uriah has his hands full, so he tosses his gun to Caleb who then clumsily shoots at the guards out of necessity, out of fear.

Shauna roughly shoves Four away.

"Go! Leave me! You don't have much time."

He lets Tris pull him away and down the stairs. At the second floor hallway, only Natalie walks towards them, sadly shaking her head. It takes a while for the truth to sink in. Mia is dead. Evelyn is dead. Natalie and her children share a tight embrace while Uriah quietly asks him if he's alright. You'd think that he would be since he already spent half his life getting used to the fact that his mother was gone, yet somehow, this is different. Somehow, this hurts more.

As they descend another flight of stairs to meet the rest of the group, Tris ends up back at his side with both arms wrapped securely around his torso. He's unsure if it's for his sake or hers, but it's like she thinks if she lets go, they will both shatter.

But then they see the others. And she lets go of him.

Because earlier, they left four people here and now only three of them are still alive.

Slowly, Four walks towards the unmoving body and kneels down next to his father. Marcus has a bullet wound right in the center of his chest where his heart used to beat. He should feel relieved. This monster who he has only ever associated with cold-blooded fear is dead, gone forever. So why has the weight not lifted? Why does the weight feel even heavier?

Andrew Prior sits on the other side of Marcus, looking down at his friend in shock. The question barely comes out of Four's mouth.

"What happened?"

"There was another wave of guards. We managed to shoot most of them, but then one of the fallen guards got hold of his gun again and shot at us. And Marcus saved me. It would have killed me but Marcus pushed me aside and took the bullet instead. He saved my life."

It's ironic and Four almost laughs. If a man inflicts insurmountable pain onto others on a daily basis for years but dies as a self-sacrificing Abnegation, is he still considered a martyr?

Natalie puts a gentle hand on Four's shoulder and reminds everyone that they have to keep moving. She leads the way, followed Andrew and Caleb, then Edward with Eric in tow, and finally Uriah carrying Marlene. However, Tris remains by his side, keeping her good arm linked around his, tethering him down to reality. She's the one who eventually leans down to close Marcus's eyes.

"It's okay to feel sad, you know. Even after everything he did. Even if it doesn't make sense. He's still your father."

He looks at his father for a few more seconds before turning to walk away.

/

Later, on the train, Natalie tells him that both Evelyn and Mia wanted her to give him a message as part of their last dying words. Coincidentally, the messages were the same two words:

"I'm sorry."

And that's when he finally understands this heavy emotion inside of him as a result of Marcus's death. It was a bitter mix of anger and disappointment—angry that he was denied the chance to finally stand up to his father and fight back; disappointed that his father never apologized.

/

They're sitting by a fire back in the factionless safe house, passing cans of food around to each other. Tris hasn't left his side since they left Dauntless, and he doesn't want her to. She is clearly still rattled from being forced to shoot her best friend and he has his own demons to worry about.

With the death of Evelyn, the factionless are left without a leader, and they were already disorganized enough as it was. By the far wall, he can see Tris's parents talking intently with Therese, who was apparently next-in-rank in this ambiguous system that didn't really qualify for a hierarchy.

As they eat spoonfuls of food, he peers around the large room. The factionless wear a mismatch of all colors of clothing and he's never seen anything so disorderly and uncoordinated. Across from him, a small boy wears an oversized blue shirt with red pants and grey shoes. It looks so out of place. How can anyone be Erudite _and_ Amity _and_ Abnegation? Suddenly, he realizes that he himself is exactly that, along with Dauntless and Candor too. He looks around the room again and his eyes pick out all five faction colors individually but then he blinks and he sees the colors combine into something much greater. A community where everyone lives free and doesn't have to think twice before speaking or doing anything. A community where the color of cloth on your back doesn't mean a single thing. It all comes crashing together.

Surely this is what his aptitude test result meant. He is not all five factions.

He is factionless.

* * *

NOTE: i do plan on continuing this to include the events of insurgent and allegiant as well. however this took forever to write and i'm exhausted and i don't know when i'll have time to crank out two additional 16,000 word chapters. so, i'm officially giving myself a deadline. **the next chapter will be posted by the premier date of the insurgent movie.** yes, that's forever and a half away. yes, i suck. sorryyyy. but if you liked this, please follow this story so you can get notified when i finally update!

thanks for reading, my dearies. see you next year.


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